Dear Daddy:
I am really sorry that I don't spend as much time talking with you lately as I should. I know that some time is better than no time and that the amazing peace I find in your presence should be enough motivation to make me make more time for you. I wont insult you with excuses about how life just gets in the way because I let life get in the way. I have allowed the distractions to get in the way and there is nothing else I can say about that except that I am so thankful that your love is unlike anything else in this world and so I know that regardless of my faults and the my choices, you love me and have forgiven me.
Please know that I am working on correcting that as soon as possible and making better efforts with my time management.
I love how you always encourage me to be loving and patient. How you so lovingly build me up to be the person that you created me to be. I wish that I were better at taking the lessons and didn't always want to be so hands on and do so much on my own, yet through it all You are never impatient with me and you continue to cheer me on and love me and push me forward like a proud and loving father, no matter how many times I fall short.
The love and patience you have for us Daddy, is a real example of the kind of people that you want us to be. Ever loving, trusting and patient. Helping one another whenever we can. I know that you are smiling at me and happy that I am trying to make so much progress in my relationship with you and in being who you created me to be and I know that my shortcoming don't discourage you, even if they DO discourage me. Thank you, Daddy! Thank you for your love and trust and faith in me. For seeing me for who I can be and not for who I have sometimes chose to be.
Mother Theresa once said "I know God won't give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much." I never really knew what she meant until recently.
I feel so overwhelmed Daddy and here is the kicker, I know that you never meant for me to handle any of it, especially not without you... So its my fault that I am feeling so overwhelmed by it all and only I can chose to make things different, and I know how to make it different, I just sometimes lack the will and at other times I feel like I lack the support.
I know that YOU are with me Daddy. I know that you are here and you are holding my hand through it all and I know that I can talk to you... but I feel so lonely Daddy. I am so surrounded by people and yet I feel so alone. Half the time I think that maybe I can talk and I mean really talk to one of them and then I feel like I am going crazy and if I cant always understand things myself or even explain it then, HOW am I supposed to be able to explain it to them and expect them to understand?
How do I tell them all that I know? All that I see? All that I feel? How do I tell them that You allow me to have all this knowledge Lord so that I can help you help them through it? How do I explain to them that every single one of our secrets are tearing us apart? Why are we all so ashamed of what they enemy makes us think and feel?
Oh Daddy! How I wish you would tell me what to do!
We are so distracted by our own struggles that I don't know if we see what the others are going through... But you see our struggles and you have allowed me to see them too.
Daddy, I know that in the past I have asked you to take it all away, but I don't want that anymore. What I want Daddy, more than anything else in the world is for you to teach me, raise me and guide me through everything, so that I may learn to lean on you and do what you have called me to do, what you have created me to do.
